Today I made up a really nice quote, that pretty much sums up what I believe in, it goes; 

I don’t have ‘a dream’. I have ‘a plan’! 

I’m not sure how much the meaning of this actually comes across. It’s not just about me having ‘a plan’ you know. It’s about the belief system. Those of you who read ‘The secret’, will know what I mean. Those of you, who have not read it, I suggest you read it, or even better, see the movie. For me this philosophy

Sun was at the same spot as every day at ten o’clock and the coffee tasted yummy as ever. Sitting in my favorite barista on Carter rd, I watched the ocean and a naked man taking his morning bath.

“So…I said, turning an attention towards my friend sitting across the table….”please tell me the Greek story again”.

He smiled, took one long breath as professional story-tellers do and started.

Once upon a time God decided to create something perfect. And so he did and that is how first man came to life. He had four legs, for hands and two heads so he could manage to do anything in the world with ease.

After seeing that this creature was perfect and all was good, God decided to make many more like him and call them humans. Then he created a perfect world, with everything so beautiful that it was like heaven itself. No one could have asked for better place to be.

Lost in thoughts

“Just write”, I told myself and decided to make the first step. Only when you make the first step, you can make the second one.

I switched my phone off…step one, closed the door changed into track pants…step two, put a bottle of water and box of tissues next to me…step three…switched on my computer and opened new file…step four…. named it according to today’s date………and a cold shiver ran through my spine.

The 30th of November. “If we stayed together until the 30th, according to the prediction, we would be together for a very long time”, he said while looking at his watch. It was 11.30 at night on the 29th of November. That was last night. And our… last night.

For two hours I was sitting here sulking in my negativity, creating ‘deep’ senseless thoughts and wasting time pitying myself…when suddenly…it happened.

It all started as one of the usual depressed mornings that have been paying me a visit now and then for past three months. The same stillness of my house that usually feels so peaceful was today attacking me like an allergy that itches you everywhere when no scratching brings any relief. I could hear the invasive whispers from all corners of my house…Face it! Face it! Face it!…

I ran away from there. I can’t do it. Not this time…

I drove my aching soul and thirsty eyes to an oasis, the coffee shop where I often search for tranquility. I come there and sit. Alone. While five waiters stand around waiting for orders. I hide there in the corner hoping to be invisible, because…I might just cry. Any moment. Like today…

Guess what I am up to?

When I think of the most magical moments of my childhood, I think of the love letters. When I say love letters, I don’t mean those I got (which sadly were only few), but the ones I wrote myself. This memory makes me remember the child in me, that is yet alive, but it also brings back the feeling of embarrassment I went through every time I sent such letter to the new object of my obsession.

I was always in love. From kindergarten till high school I adored, loved and went totally nuts about guys. There was only one of them who did not get any love letter from me and that’s because at the age of five, I didn’t know how to write. So I’m sorry to say my very first love never got to know about the passion I felt for him.

I totally loved this boy but so did the entire female population of the kindergarten. And poor me got never noticed. I remember the line of girls running behind him while playing ‘run and catch’, and I was not a very fast runner then. But hey!!! I can run pretty fast now!!